A Quick Outpouring of the Heart

Lately I’ve been remembering, then forgetting, how to be human.

I catch myself in so many emotions that I end up vacillating between overwhelm and underwhelm - neither of which are ideal conditions. Even in communicating with you all, I often feel stuck.

Why would I send something that doesn’t feel extremely valuable to the audience that entrusts me with their time and energy? Why would I waste their eyes and ears on that which does not hold more than average value? But as I find myself wandering around myself, I am continuing to make promises that I hope I can keep. I hope to push through the vat of honey I often fall into, even if only to say hi. I hope to move in the world more every day.

Sometimes I ask who am I to command so much attention? Well that’s not the question is it? The real question is who do I want to be to earn that trust and attention, so here’s to the first step.

Shit is hard right now. People are losing their homes their healthcare. I’ve seen my own bills piling up and I’ve looked out to see people falling into deep despair thinking this is the end.

In this moment if nothing else, I want to be a light. I want to be one of the small lights on a path that helps everyone ground their steps, even just a small amount. I want to be that porch light that you look out and feel warmed by on a cold drive home. I want to help you learn, but also feel something and share the things that fill my world with you as well.

So, here’s to remembering that education, social justice, history are all human. That we are all here and it is all connected.

I hope I’ve left something here for you all, even if it’s a giggle to laugh at my waxing and waning (I promise I won’t be mad) and I vow to try to elevate my voice more here each week and earn the platform you’ve given me.

With love and power,

Abiola.

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